I have been depressed. When someone seeks professional help for depression, one of the first few questions people ask is whether you have suicidal thoughts. Luckily, my answer is no this time. I had real suicidal thoughts around my high school years. I entertained suicidal thoughts in other dark times of my life. But gradually, I got a firm conviction that I would not commit suicide, and it worked this time. Even though I felt terrible every day for weeks and couldn't find any meaning or motivation, I was convinced that all those would pass. There are times when I feel that maybe dying is alright, but those thoughts arise and pass, and I don't really pay attention to them.